that is life for me

the epoch, start of my new beginning

2007-03-31T23:11:00.001+08:00

hi everyone, i've cut out of this disapearing act man, im back but with a diff blog now, tada!!! my new blog- http://youlovemeso.blogspot.com
see you all there (:
and oh yea im surely going to miss this blogskin of mine,
but well anw it's gonna be a new beginning

ps:yea sharm, i miss you too, ha and u r still that sweet

the epoch, start of my new beginning

2007-03-31T23:11:00.000+08:00

recomendations

2006-09-25T18:59:00.001+08:00

arg.. i was trying to enable comments to be written for each and every entry painstakingly, but i cant seem to get it, not a surprise btw. arg the agony. i'll and shall never understand the A-Z of all these tech stuff, so well, just leave yr comments as tags yea.
luckily i got this blogskin that i like :o)

Recommend 1 -> "A Love To Kill"
http://xblog.x-sysonline.com/images/alove.jpg
Cast: Rain or Jung Ji Hoon Cast As Kang Bok-ku, Shin Min Ah (Beautiful Day) Cast As Cha Eun-suk...

A korean drama that is a tragedy but not a typical melancholy, depressing one.
The plot is so fresh, and i just love the way the introductions to the dramas are, the prologues to the real show are i meant.
And it is not the lovey dovey like "full house", the plot is rather complicated so you have to stay at the verge of your seats to fully feel the atmosphere and let your emotions go along plus one has to ponder to get it man.

Recommend 2 -> "I am Sam"
it's a truly moving show that brought torrents of tears to me more than once when i was watching it. it's about this father and daughter relationship. the dad is intellectually handicapped, with an IQ of that to a 7years old, where the daughter is reaching 7years old, is getting smarter than her dad day by day. then one day, the constitution for child's rights decided to take the girl away from the dad, shattering the life out of this loving two. the girl has always loved her dad regardless of his disability and was so mature in her child-like love that is expressed. the dad then slowly came into terms with his own disability and won the court and the allocated adoptive parents of the girl with his undying, unchanging, innocent and pure love. rent it RENT IT, u just gotta do that to understand why i love it this much.

recomendations

2006-09-25T18:59:00.000+08:00

Time

2006-09-25T14:21:00.000+08:00

Time is a reliable indicator; it is foolproof,
as one may say,"Time will tell."
It shows how one react to a situation, no point guessing, no use predicting,
will one really be selfless and self-sacrifice when the situation calls for it?
What will our reactions stem out from?
Our instincts or our innate and sometimes self-centred human nature?

Time is unrelenting, merciless and unforgiving.
It stops for no one and for no rules, no signpost.
It leaves a permanent fixature, sometimes one that makes you content, gald and proud but at other times, it leaves one that is regrettable.
Still, it never unwinds, never is it benevolent enough, never has it has the capacity to tolerate a wrong take on time, an incorrect action, an inappropriate decision.
There is no room for repentance for wrongdoing as you may see, a mark made is a mark left.
How much should one sacrifice, acting contemptuous, defying the "what we should do" and being allured to "what we want to do"?
Instant Gratification, as much as it pleases, it sometimes sure result in unhappy endings.
So how many "I SHOULD NOT HAVE-S" should one have to endure, to live by?
That are due to mistakes, bad discipline, neglect, letting one or others down and betrayal.

Thus time is experience, it is a strict teacher.
Its teachings are excellent and enlightening, only when the student, the perceiver understands.

Time will heal, cliche as it may sound,
it sure offers comfort to victims brutalized by affairs of the heart.
Heart, an organ, a receptor of intangible emotions and thoughts, will never build up an immunity for heartbreaks nor one that toughen it into unfeeling, cold metal.
It remains vulnerable to threats that sadden, touch or hurt it.
The concentrated hurting shall be diluted, thanks to the anecdote of time, the pain may falter but will it ever be gone?
Can we ever forget an incident that impacted us tremendously before?
There's an old saying," A past act of agression on the tree will leave a scar on the tree bark. But with time, the scar heals, it thickens to become an essential rapport that provides support. Which is undoubtedly vital to the further growth of a healthy tree."

Time is relative, it is sacred both to a loving couple, to cherish the pleasure of the presence of each other and to a dying man, desiring to live, to make full use of his remaining seconds and minutes.
Tine is infinite, is infinity, never ending and never starting.
But to living creatures, it is finite, however the realisation of how precious time is is sadly often late.

Time in cases maybe untimely, where opportunities slip by or when tragedies can be avoided.
While on other occasions time is servant to all beings.
We are at the helm to decide and cotrol how we want to manipulate time.
And for all the sensible reasons known, one can never act with impunity and escape from past mistakes.
Hence by mere decision and choice we will have to bear the brunt of the unbending, sometimes harsh and cold reality.
So is time ever guilty of the undesirable consequences that arise from it?
If judged, we will only be rendered prostrate, with chagrin slowly creeping across our faces, as time which only guilessly pass by shall only be vindicated of its innocence, free from all blames.
Soon, the finger of blame will be wagging towards us and then it will be pointless to attribute our faults and flaws to anything else.

ha, a juvenile piece of work i did in a moment of weird urge (i guess?) to run away from studying during the one week holiday before prelims. I was studying Cell and Nuclear Division, Biology during the wee hours at night. :0) i realised this poem is rather pessimistic. takers to comment, anyone?

Honouring Steve Irwin

2006-09-04T21:30:00.000+08:00

Abstracts regarding Steve Irwin:
"He died doing what he loved best and left this world in a happy and peaceful state of mind. He would have said, 'Crocs Rule!'"

"To have the passion and enthusiasm, you will be guaranteed to live a great life"

"My mission is to touch people with wildlife..as a conservationalist..then will wildlife cease to be endangered and be saved."

well, he is not anyone close to be as in in blood, realations terms, but he is really a sincere, passionate man who loves animals like his own flesh and blood. Once when i was in the hotel in Cambodia, i watched a programme on him about his own private life. in it then i realised, he lost his mum to a road accident, by the time he reached this he was already tearing uncontrollaby, he regretted not being by him mum side, and she had to suffer and die by each second drawing nearer, without her loved ones by her side. and my heart just saddens with him, my face screwed up and my nose gave way. His family is always animal oriented, and he successfully developed his parents' crocodiles(for strays) enclosure to The Australia Zoo. This may just be any tragedy that can happen to a commoner but there's more to him. another time, it was his pet dog's tragic story, this dog has been with him since he was young, and when he knew that she had contacted cancer, he just broke down like a child, with no reservations to show his emotions at all. After his passing, it was a whole new different feeling to watch his shows on Animal Planet, he displayed real showmanship, stayed true to his sincere, playful, enthusiastic, friendly nature. he treted all animals with affection, care and respect. I was even to the extent of feeling moved, just by watching his shows.if you know him i'll bet u feel the same way as i do.he was a great man, lived a life filled with purpose, passion and love. (and how i adore his little daughter!) how many of us can exclaim that our life is so well spent, without regrets, without feeling that our lives are redundant and we just wallow in our inadequacies?as a self-proclaimed animal lover, i have my preferences to animals like i practised favouritism, i love, treat one species better than another. i wonder is that like wrong??

An entry dedicated to a man so dear to us and in loving memory of him.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060904/ap_on_en_tv/obit_irwin

bluh

2006-06-05T15:22:00.000+08:00

-saxophone-
i've been on it for days and the time i spent on it seems longer than the time i spent on studying..oh man this 's bad!
but real enjoyable. there's indeed a diff in making music and listening and i guess u've to do it to realise that :0)
i've improve in my skills!!! yeah*** ^v^ im able to play like real pieces rather than nursery rhymes like "The Saints go marching in"
anyway i kind of smuggled the sch's saxophone, music book, and even the music stand home..but guess what that's not the big thing!

my fren has invited me to join my Buddhism's band** woo..
looking forward to it :) otherwise everything will just come to an end aft jc years, all the pursuing in music. which is quite a pity and for that im supposed to buy my own saxophone *squeals.
but well they must be something in me b4 i canbe selected for the band, which means i've to pass like 2 auditions? and the first one is on this sun. shld i play "classical cannon" or "fairytale" <- the one by guang liang, i don't like it as a song but as a music piece it's nice :0)
i think i'll just play fairytale as it is more within my capability. Classical cannon has a richer tune and im all right with the fingering, but there is no breaks or whatsoever so im suffocating. and the next disgusting thing is saliva will start dripping from the mouthpiece and the saxophone keys..okay yucks yucks. ruin the whole graceful aura of looking at me playing the sax..ahha
okay well the sch lib is closing..

i just wondered that names can actually be quite fun to play with
-ex: morrius blunt
"hey blunt i've thought that u were sharp"
haa are u like rubbing yr eyes. well i just cant believe that i lol at this thought of mine at that golden moment it invades my mind. maybe im really goin bonkers, some part of my brain

there is this another so-lamoe cheer of my bro camp in malaysia(the buddhist camp)
their team name is satellite.
their cheer goes:
Problems settled
Unhappiness settled
Everything settled
...SATELLITE...

...wow...clapclap... -.-

OUTING!!!

2006-06-05T14:40:00.000+08:00

**********************************************************************

date:this sat, 10th of june 06
time:11am at boon lay mrt control station
WHERE ARE WE GOING???
1st stop!!!~~~ Singapore Botanic Garden!!!
-bus to take-174, 154 *heh but im not sure where shall we stop*
-there is a free Rainforest Tour in english 11am, 4pm
so will u all like to meet at 10am instead or what if u r interested in the tour that is? ha but im!

We shall linger there for quite a while and have our picnic ~
so it shall be in a pot-luck style? yup?

Items and food to bring (feel free to change and add)
-camera
-picnic mats (i bringing but mine is rather small, anyone else has it?)
-umbrella (just in case it rains, it better not man, or against the sun for the -super-whitees who will not like to get a tan like rach, py, grace, but well the latter kinda fail yea ;) (i bringing)
-frisbee (i search but i think i lost mine)
-balls
-skipping rope (HAHA- u noe what it maybe alot of fun!)
***now is the FOODSTUFF.............TATA
-2 loafs of bread
- Cans of tuna (i bringing)
-fried egg
-hotdogs
-fruits (i bring some)
-fried mee
-chips (i bring some)
-more,more...!!!
+++
-plastic gloves (i bring)
-blunt knife (to spread tuna) (i bring)
-of course ... water (everyone brings)

anymore to add?
anyone please volunteer to bring :o) and write down as comments yea. i think i'll check on thu?

if anyone cannot make it sms me yea? cuz my pc is down, currently using sch's

FINAL DESTINATION!!! (CREEPY~?)
- marina steamboat!!!
so actually we just need to spend money here i guess :0)

look forward to hearing n seeing the babelicious you-s.. so long`

aftermath of blogs surfing

2006-05-12T02:03:00.000+08:00

this is something i've written in my diary like a month ago, i guess. aft i read thru all the blogs of my close friends :0)

哈。我现在心里有一个非常舒服的感觉。真希望这感觉会永远留在我心里。我想，这是应为我刚读完我亲友的网络日记的缘故吧？虽然我们每一个人都过着自己独自的生活，但我们心里仍然有着对方，费心思的去保持联络与及关心彼此的日常生活。还蛮甜蜜的吧？我是这样觉得。喔！为我们的友情干杯和万岁！知道他们日子过得开心，在自己的生活卷子也有自己的幽默的故事。这令我领悟到我自己也要在生活里发奋图强，让自己也获得快乐，也需要充实地去珍惜一切。在这，我也愿您幸福快乐。

And well, one can really feel awesome and beautiful when one is loved and cared for :)
*yawn man* sleepy,.,
chengteng long time no see man!!! hang out on someday?

emlala

2006-02-19T20:24:00.000+08:00

-Black plastic specs is so charming-

Well there is this story about sneezing... here goes the story (from wee kiat)

* If u sneeze once - it means someone is talking bad about u
ah-ah...

* If u sneeze twice -

It means someone is thinking of u/ missing u
em-em, how sweet can that be??? >.<

* If u sneeze thrice-

It means u r well...

really sick n u r down with flu :)

:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):) well here r 24 happy faces for all my beloved pals n other people in hope that u'll be cheerful all day long, 1 smile-ly face per hour that is.
well happiness is a state of mind~

Reflection on my Cambodia trip

2006-01-03T23:09:00.000+08:00

just thought of putting this up as it contains precious own reflections and thought i have regarding the trip. pardon me for any english mistake as i didn't bother to check thru :)

Cambodia Trip Reflection

In the first place why I appealed to be part of this Cambodia Trip 2005 was because I yearn to ‘feel’ what these kinds of trips are like and also being able to look at Cambodia in a different perspective rather than that of a tourist who is just merely patronizing the country and after that shall just leave the country for good. The hurricane of emotions and thoughts you are able to gain from there were so complex and peculiar that for me, I have to take some time to register in my brain. It was even to the extent that the whole Cambodia team is able to achieve an unspoken consensus where events touched us in such intangible ways that you have to experience it yourself to comprehend. The fact that these feelings and reflections of the trip seemed so foreign was because we have never been immersed into such types of rural environment as compared to our urbanized homeland, which is worlds’ apart. While on several incidents that happened in the whole journey, I became more aware of how true it actually is that “The most beautiful things in life always caught us without words.” While the sweet memories of being under the borderless blue sky with fluffy white clouds and among the idyllic beauty will be fondly reminisced for years to come.

Just after we reached Cambodia, we were given an introductory talk about the way of life of Cambodians. One issue that really left a lasting impression on me was the fact that Cambodians deemed all downfalls in their daily life to be punishment from the Gods and Deities for the misdeeds they have done. After that they will continue to cast blames on themselves and convinced oneself that they are indeed worthless, resulting in a drastic fall in their self-esteem. It is just unbelievable that they belittled themselves to this extent and did not even treasure themselves. Moreover they should also strive for their own future, instead of totally leaving their fate in God’s hands. If we do not help ourselves, no one can help us. This also goes to show how religion is still deeply rooted into the Cambodian’s culture in a more traditional way. However another reason for them doing so was the remnants of their past civil wars’ experiences, they have already been impacted in various psychological ways that will be beyond one’s imagination. So it is inevitable that their morale and spirit will fall after surviving harrowing decades of civil wars where the perpetrators totally ruined all the self-respect they once had.

We were house builders for a day in Cambodia. Spare us the praises and the prestige as we did not really build a house from scratch. The foundation was already laid with all the stilts (the house in built on stilts with aluminium plates as walls) and the framework all assembled and put up. To nail the walls into the framework we have to stand on a ladder while holding on to a hammer and of course nails. It was exhausting but nonetheless it was worth every ounce of my effort. Due to us being incompetent in terms of lacking the skills of house-building and also our stamina we really need to muster out determination to persevere because just after aiming and focusing our force to ensure the hammer hits the nail, we just miraculously miss it. Furthermore, even if we did strike the nail, it may not be fasten in the framework as we just did not exert enough strength. Compared to the villagers, they may have jolly well finish the whole task in 1/3 of the time we spent. Even though we seemed more like a hassle than a help, both the Cambodian villagers and us enjoyed the whole process tremendously. The Cambodians were really considerate as they tried to guide as along the A to Z of house building, albeit a tedious journey to get the message across as we do not speak a common tongue. Through the good-natured laughs we shared, the sincere geniality of the villagers and all the hand gesticulation, what really matters at the end of the day are the interactions we shared and the exposure of both parties’ culture and way of living to one another. However, there was something that fell short of my expectations. I have longed to play and associate with the children in the village but we have to abide by the rules of avoiding all close interactions with the children. If we do share close physical contact with the kids, the villagers will see it that we are favoring them and will willingly pushed their children to be under our custody in return for us donating the cost of building a proper, stable house for them. And they will never take back their children. They react in this way as sadly, this is the only possible way for them to show their appreciation and return us the favor of us providing them a humble abode that they will even ruthlessly part with their own children.

Next to come was a poignant visit to The S-21 Museum, which was also the actual ground where thousands of Cambodians were literally tortured and annihilated in the civil wars times, also known as The Khmer Rogue. Displayed in one room were the photos of all the victims, I felt so overcome as it was on such a personal level where I am able to see their faces, expressions and the emotions they felt then which conveyed their bitter, pitiful story beneath. It was all in the eyes of the victims, where you can notice the glint in it from the tears of hopelessness, gloom and agony that were suppressed. It was just truly tragic; such another massacre of innocent human lives should have been avoided by all means. The massacre of the captives was indiscriminately done, where the age of the victims can range from toddlers to senior citizens. What really pulled at my heartstrings were the photos of the children who fell victims to such menacing and terrible times at such a young age. I was sick in the stomach after the whole ordeal of living back the past history of horror, but I never regretted it as the whole experience pulled me one step closer to comprehending Cambodia.

To end my whole reflection on a lighter note, from now onwards I no longer feel that saying “World Peace” is so extremely cliché and ‘Miss Universe-ish’. It means a lot and the value of it surpassed any material gain. So everyone let us puckered up our lips, smile and pose for a camera shoot and put our hands together to say a prayer that wishes for World Peace.

The End

Evelyn Wong
05S1

Ranting on..>

2005-12-29T01:33:00.000+08:00

What's Your True Color?
evelyn, your true color is Green!

You're green, the color of growth and vigor. Good-hearted and giving, you have a knack for finding and bringing out the best in people. Green is the most down-to-earth color in the spectrum ? reliable and trustworthy. People know they can count on you to be around in times of need, since your concern for people is genuine and sincere. You take pride in being a good friend. For you, success is measured in terms of personal achievement and growth, not by status or position. Rare as emeralds, greens are wonderful, natural people. It truly is your color!

from www.tickle.com

I learnt something today. Life is made up of little victories and/with defeats. Most importantly is to move on, but even with the right mentality in place, why is acting out according to the plan in the way u want it to be that hard? Am i not that strong to do so? em-em...

sneezing caught in the act O

2005-12-29T01:17:00.000+08:00

Tada!` This is Cassidy again. caught in the act of sneezing, Ah-Choo! *focus on his expression!!! And as you can see, he is holding onto Big Bird. However he has this problem where he identifies all birds to be called as "Ducks", in his little wonderful world of Cassidy's vocabulary! And the bib which he is wearing is to protect his clothes from being drench with his saliva. Just because he salivates as he is too excited playing and it is just not innate for him to swallow them consciously. hah. If he is not a toddler, the description I just gave may most likely describes a retard` well, his nappy is also in view too! He is such a sweetie but not when he gets all screamy, he can really gives me headaches! *.*

Cassidy, sassy little toddler *muacks

2005-12-28T23:54:00.000+08:00

And this *WOW* is my little baby cousin who will be living in my house for quite some while. He is like 1/3 of my height, an adorable figure, with his duck-like gait (he walks in an outward V-shape) and his chubby cheeks. He walks in such a way because he dosen't really have a choice either. It is due to his nappy which is stuck in his under, making him unable to walk with his legs going straight ahead. N i just cant help gushing, marvelling and squealling over him. Everything that has to do with him seems like a toy a me. Cuz everytin he owns is like an ultra mini size of what i own. His clothes are like so dollish, so tiny. And oh my, his porcelain baby skin is like so soft and smooth! Just yummy to give him a wet smooch >.< But he can be quite a kid sometimes. Over here in this pic he was sucking at a lolly-pop that i gave him to pacify his shouts and cries that can literally tear down my house. And look at that satisfied kiddy expression of his, after he got this lolly! He calls the lolly a "ball", so whenever he sees a ball he will associate it with a lolly-pop and will suck it. Hah but still a cute fellow (afterall) despite all the nasty tantrums this little guy can throw, however at that moment when u r handling me, he maynot appear to be as angelic as a little toddler should be. Btw, he is about 15 months old!

2005-12-14T23:17:00.000+08:00

luciana my dear dear room-mate and the unphotogenic me. :)

2005-12-14T23:12:00.001+08:00

breath-taking skies that cant be really seen in Singapore!

2005-12-14T23:12:00.000+08:00

photo taken from the rear window of the plane when we have reached Cambodia.. that is the wing of the plane within the clouds and below are the floodplains and fields. even though we are staying at the capital of Cambodia, Phnom Penh, floodplains are still within a stone throw's away. so u can see how under-developed Cambodia is. if there are already rice fields in the capital, the rest of the provinces must be heavily reliant on agriculture too. so Cambodia till now is still largely based in the primary industry stage. the view of the ground beneath the plane reminds me of topographic maps in geography! as u can really see the meandering rivers, cluster of settlements and agriculture activities and where villages sprout.. veryvery interesting and amusing! wow wow and lane rides can really be thrilling. they r like some roller coaster ride and i even gasped aloud that we r on board of a space shuttle to my friend, diana when the plane picked up tremendous speed! so idiotic right. but well well :) fun fun even though my stomach was doing flip-flops durin the plane journey and felt a liddat nauseous.. the plane's toilet was real cool too. even going to the plane's an be deemed exciting by one whom was just having her first toilet-ing on a plane. when u flushed the toilet, there is this strong suction force that will just enveloped all yr waste in an instant,

2005-12-14T22:59:00.000+08:00

beautiful beautiful

2005-12-14T22:58:00.000+08:00

some beautiful scenery of the countryside... country road take me home to the place where i belong!`

2005-12-14T22:56:00.000+08:00

this is a typical home (sweet home) for many Cambodians. a little on the run-down side but i really envy the blissful lives they lead, under the borderless blue sky, in the green pastures...

2005-12-14T22:53:00.000+08:00

4 kids playing on the swing, wee!~

2005-12-14T22:52:00.000+08:00

this little villager outside the preschool had such a sincere smile plastered on his face!

2005-12-14T22:51:00.000+08:00

kawaii little couple from the preschool with remnants of the games we had together- the balloons. apparently school had just ended and they r waiting for someone to fetch them home

2005-12-14T22:50:00.000+08:00

cute little preschooler, a boy over here. I just love taking photos of children :) mymy...

2005-12-14T22:48:00.000+08:00

dear dear xin en with the 2 cute girls at the pre-school

2005-12-14T22:46:00.000+08:00

this is a great photo. but im not really attracted to this little kid over here. but nonetheless she is adorable too :) we played games with the preschoolers in a village's school such as balloons... we also danced for them too and they in return had their own little performances for us.

2005-12-14T22:44:00.000+08:00

She is the one im infatuated with! what a cute little girl :0) and i've to admit that throughout the process of interating with this preschoolers in the village, im practising favouritism in all possible ways :)

2005-12-14T22:41:00.000+08:00

and her ( the girl in pink with a green vest)

2005-12-14T22:40:00.000+08:00

and her.

2005-12-14T22:37:00.000+08:00

the house before we came into help build. yaya the foundation is already laid there for us. we just helped hammering nails into metal sheets and wooden planks. tough but fun fun fun and satisfying! i even climbed high up on a ladder to hammer nails!

2005-12-14T22:36:00.000+08:00

photo of an oh-so-cute villager girl in school attire that i just absolutely fell head over heels in love with! ya she is one of the occupants of the village we went to to build the house.

2005-12-14T22:31:00.000+08:00

now this is the masterpiece of dear dear hardworking and devoted luciana who is very determined to help! she hammered in more nails that needed. ahah!` n look at the dents in the green aluminium sheet (that is supposed to be the walls of the house) that is bcuz of all those intense hammering of the nails through the metal sheet into the wooden frames beneath to secure the house. but the villagers actually can hammer the nails in a few swift strokes without denting the metal! hail villager. boo to singaporeans urbanised weaklings who lack the strength(includin me)

2005-12-14T22:28:00.000+08:00

Ta-da! The photo of the completed house which we helped in building. But frankly, we were more of a trouble to the villagers and im sure they will complete building the house faster if we didn't even bother to help. as we lack the strength and the expertise.butbut it is all for the interaction we have and the exposure and experience! house-building can be realreal fun.. @.@

2005-12-14T22:27:00.000+08:00

this is what it is supposed to be not that many nails are needed u noe, luciana :0) ! it will just be a waste! :)

2005-12-14T22:22:00.000+08:00

This is the ground where people were tortured till they died, or in other words, this photo shows you a prison camp where more than 2000 people were detained and killed. However before the Khmer Rogue period, where peace still reign, this is actually a school.

2005-12-14T22:16:00.000+08:00

these are boards that display all the photographs of the people who died in this torture camp.

2005-12-14T22:14:00.000+08:00

this is such an adorable little kid who should have immeasurable future prospects ahead of him but who will ever imagine that he suffered and died in this torture camp that may have been prevented?

2005-12-14T22:10:00.000+08:00

this little kid with his face all squished together may just resemble any normal kid pouting when he can't get what he wants. but he being a prisoner of the torture camp despite his young tender age most probably is expressing a face filled with malice, hatred and fury to the torturers at the camp at the point when the photo is being taken

2005-12-14T22:02:00.000+08:00

This is a photo of the former minister's wife and her infant child before the Khmer Rogue happened. yes, the both of them were brutally massacred in the prison. look at the baby still peacefully asleep. is he aware of the cruelty that will soon befall upon him? now focus on the mother's eyes. the eyes are the windows to one's soul. so what emotions do u reckon the mother is feeling at that point of time? this photo really gave me the 'tingles' then. the mother's eyes were so..so..so sad

2005-12-14T21:54:00.000+08:00

This is just how horribly the prisoners of this torture camp died. This man in this picture almost survived the whole Khmer Rogue period. He died a few days before the Vietnamese came to set the nation free. The fact that he nearly make it out alive really struck me. And to describe that feeling for the loss of this unlucky soul who had suffered a lot is beyond any words.

2005-12-14T21:50:00.000+08:00

Painting by a survivor who once lived in the camp depicting actual ways of torture that were carried out on prisoners.

2005-12-14T21:43:00.000+08:00

This is Polpot, the perpertrator that started all the genocide killings in the Khmer Rogue period in Cambodia. When he was young, he was so deeply influenced by the theory of Communism that he was so convinced that he should re-create and custom-make a society structure from the start, and it will all be done or the goodwill of Cambodia's future. So he started off by annihilating the intellects as he deemed them beyond his control. oh yes. Polpot is one pervertic control-freak.Next he ridded all normal civilians of all possible forms of identification including their names and certificates. And if anyone disobeys, off they will go to torture camps, as they will be labelled as traitors that deter the nation's progress. People of various disabilities were also killed as Polpot felt that they were the country's burden and should be better off left dead. And so this is a short summary of the Khmer Rogue period according to whatever humble understanding I had of it.

2005-12-14T21:04:00.000+08:00

I can really tolerate vandalism and vulgarities for this. Polpot deserves it. People who have done this didn't go against the law, instead they did acts of justice.

2005-12-14T16:39:00.000+08:00

and this is my mum and my brother, peting a pink dolphin at the Dolphin Lagoon at Sentosa. The pink dolphin is born grey and as it matures, it turns pink. I volunteered during the Dolphin Show which we watched. Hah. They asked me to hola-hoop in front of the audience. So this jap woman who also volunteered and me tried hula-hoopin. and oh my our attempts of twirling the hula-hoop are not only feeble but also pathetic >.<

infatuation(s)

2005-12-03T17:25:00.000+08:00

Im infatuated with 3 living things right now...

1) my beau (not) from Holland V
2) A siberian husky puppy named Kean also from Holland V
3) Kakashi <- okay fine. he's not living. he's just an anime character from NARUTO. and trusts me. this show is worth watching, in my opinion.

***thanks to rach 4 lending it 2 me.

and i've found out that it's not really neccessary to make your infatuations turn real. sometimes, it's just enough to dwell in this period where u r just delighted to be in their pressence. this period may bring back beautiful memories that will linger even though they don't take any real form or progress in the long run. ya but i'll still want a pet one day... :0):0)

here's a quote from Marcel Marceau ->
Do not the most moving moments in our lives find us
without words?

and that's actually how i feel when i played with Kean, it jumping on me, putting its paws on my shoulders (Im squatting down) and licking me. And not to forge its soft puppy fur :):)

The difference between dreams and goals

2005-12-03T17:14:00.000+08:00

em-em... this is what one of my religion classes taught me and i think iy's kinda interesting to share with pple. So here it goes..

All of us started out dreaming when we were young, it's also a kind of force and motivation that keep us moving forward.

But whether do we eventually make our dreams come true depends on the goals that we set such that we can slowly work our way towards achieving our dreams. In short, we need dreams to keep us goin in life, to stop us from being stagnant, and we need to set realistic goals which resembles steps no matter how tiny it is to slowly ascends towards the top to reach our dreams. And with dreams and goals, our lives will turn out to be a fulfilling and meaningful one.

Soso.. what are your dreams? N how passionate r u to yr dreams to set out goals that will serve to guide u toward them??? ahuh...that are very tough questions man...> but in the first place, your life is yours to rule and dictate. so what step will u take next?

ani-mania

2005-11-16T12:23:00.000+08:00

wow, it's been more than one month since I last blogged! But alright, all is not lost.

Oh my, I can just keep myself damn busy just by tuning in to Animal Planet, National Geographic and Discovery Channels on Cable TV. [heh..> sad for those who don't have cable tv, but u know, all these come with a PRICE`!. but still u can come my house to watch with me, it dosen't hurt to have a tv buddy :0) ]

The learnt so much from these programs that focused on Nature, Natural Disasters, Wildlife, Science, Natural Phenomenon, History... But it is like so whopee and entertaining to watch wildlife shows on Animal Planet. The hosts are like so full of zest for nature, not to forget their wacky sense of humour. They always joke and talk to themselves, sometimes i laughed out is mainly due to the fact that they looked like they've gone nuts. Very spectacular. U just gotta watch it yrself.

AUSTRALIA. AUSTRALIA. AUSTRALIA. All these wildlife shows are mostly from there. There are shows on surrogate mothers/ caregivers for baby animals which need human care. Oh my, I'll just love to be a mum to any of the animals!` It is such a wildlife haven that will just give you endless pleasure just looking and 'being' with it. But is's just a pity i am not borned there. I've to admit I am kinda jealous of these Australians that got a chance to work with animals and nature. :0* However, there is an ugly side to AUSTRALIA, it is also a haven for poisonous and nasty insects of all possible disgusting species and demeanours you can ever fathom` (ya. i dislike insects very much). And the wholly 'wonderful' thing is that they are everywhere. oh great. In yr house, yr bed, and I just watched a program of spiders, bugs that suck yr blood, sting u, live in yr flesh, and have such deadly venom that one sting frm them will earn u a lifetime 'reward' of everlasting pain. ya that's 1 way they show their everlasting love 2 u. (now i think that sometimes, the manner that i write stuff is kinda peculiar) but still i m enticed to migrate to AUSTRALIA.

And yesterday, I saw the Tasmanian Devil on Animal Planet. As in the cartoon character in Looney Tunes. The surprise is that it looks different but still it is very very fierce. emphasis on the very.

And have i not mention that i already have a dream career in mind? I want to be a biologist, or any profession in the field of nature and wildlife. So im gotta perfect my Biology, photography and Geography for this matter. Some say that Biology is such a mind-boggling and memory-consuming subject but to me it is always a sweet mystery that never fails to unravel a story of life beneath it. Woo.. yum yum i m hungry for Bio.

while, if any biologists do stumble upon my humble site, please leave a message okay? I dun mind being yr apprentice. But deep in my mind i m just kinda feeling, 'fat hope girl... u really think that's going to happen?'

animalsanimalsanimals (can u figure out what im writing?)

actually i've plenty f stuff 2 blog about n pen down (okay type down) but time don't allows...
so farewell for now

P.S. I think im going to be really IN to online shopping soon soon...

and if i mispelt any word, it's not because i am an imbecile, it is just the carless mistakes i made while i type. and i often marvel at the wonderfully slow speed my fingers move across the keyboard. hey you fingers! make haste!!!~
-woolala-

equailty between humans- on gays

2005-09-16T21:21:00.000+08:00

I just feel very inclined to express my views regarding genders and sexes.

How do you identify a girl from a boy? Just from his genitals that is. And not to mention on his physical appearances and also by the voice whether it is croaky, deep or squeaky and sharp.Beyond these phenotypic demeanour, are there any other obvious definitions of genders that can serve to differentiate them? ( with exception of how different ways, each gender cope, handle and react to the same stimulus.) Thus debunking of conceptions of misconceptions are nccessary. Shakespeare once said, "Fraility, thy name is woman." Is this true? Personally, I believe that males have their desolated times too. Not to mention that nowadays, a clear and distinct line can no longer between the difference between both sexes. As matters never remain definite and absolute.

Controversies on gays are heated and never were solved. One party seeks for acceptance and the other refuted them on this fundamentary right that is entitled to each and every living and non-living that exists. Why refuse to recognise the presence of them and that they do have a life that has the same worth as ours. Rights and humanity should never be distributed with discrimination.

To carry on, the question of religion piety arises. The fervour and loyalty of a believer and practitioner of a religion comes in. The biblical book inscribes that God do not like the existence of such paradoxes in human. (I am a woman but I am also a man.) (no offences to anyone. I am just wondering solely all my humble perception of the whole issue. If you have any other comments please do voice it out to me. ) If they are not permitted to exist then why are they coexisting with the 'normal' people. Such events are not within the likes and manipulation of people. It lies in the hands of God. Does it mean that if I am gay, God will never love and care for me like the rest of my fellow counterparts? I am stigmatised because of a stark difference I am helpless about. So , fine that is solely all my problem and my fault. Oh, one just can't resist pondering on the humanity and fairness that mortals have. In this way, i think that God (not specified from any other particular religion, and this is not a personal attack) is either not as magnanimous or as perfect (cause he created such 'abnormalities') as what we believed. I am screaming out on account for these people who are suffering under unfair scrutinisation of the public and can't live their life with freedom. Readers, please spare a thought for their feelings. Beasts or humans alike, we do feel and love to love and be loved in return.

Anyway, if you are assessing on the credibility of me, or whether I am biased, the truth is that I am straight and bear no dissatisfaction on gays. I do have gay and not to missed out, heaps of straight friends. If campaigns and policies against racial discrimination exists, I don't see the reason why policies against discrimination on sexual orientation cease to be implemented.

Just thought of a quote by Hellen Keller, a much revered woman of immendous wisdom,

"I am only one, but still I am one.
I cannot do everything but still I can do something.
Therefore, I am not willing to not do something I can do."

gloom

2005-09-16T20:04:00.000+08:00

黑。暗。孤单。寂寞。犹豫。伤心。恐惧。不知所措。无奈。
自己。自己。自己。

There are always times when i feel dejected and all alone groping for hope which do fails me sometimes but you can't expect everyone to be there for you. So it is just myself, myself and me. And no one is going to orbit around you like the sun and that you are their universe.

Mistakes are scattered everywhere, and im trying to gather, sort and remedy them all those that are within my capability, but alas, i have my own limitations . My mental self need to be encouraged and motivated. Responsibilities have to be met. Most importantly, we can turn back in time. Let it be history as life still carry on. I can't help demeaning myself. Disappointment with oneself is harder to contain than one can ever imagine. Others' dismay of oneself is ever more heart-wrenching to bear. Whenever i feel overcome with such emotions, i am helpless with the surge of tears that cloud my eyes. Such feelings are hard to contain, restrain and control but so easy to be expressed and evoked. However I always tend to work against all these feelings that are meant to be let out to cleanse your mood and soul, to repurify and let you have a whole new phase of life. Suppress your tears, dear, I thought that was the way to be. Even though my capacity of hiding such emotions are nowhere near plentiful.A tough struggle.Cause I have once stood stubbornly by the principle that tears were for someone weak and frail. That I do not want others to witness such a sight of me succumbing, that this face of mine do exists. That i do have my sorrow too. I also covet for others to have a fine impression of me, for others to think highly of me. Never considering how tiring, exhausting to live up to others' expectations. It can go to that far that i live and became overclouded in others' shadows where i am that concerned for how others view me as. Call me simon-pure (interesting word right? Look it up in the merriam-webster dict. no folks, i am not going to tell you the meaning of it. you lazy bum bum.), i just cant help feeling guilty easily. Ambivalent feelings of these that land me in contradicting emotions where part of me wants to stand strong, stay valiant, optimistic and ready to solve this mess. While, the other part wants to wallow in depression forever and ever. Complain like a brat and hold a grudge against people. There is also part of me that just can't contemplate the future prospects, who cannot comprehend why these circumstances befall on me and all pity on myself. Which will certain their dominance on an individual and which prevails are all highly personal and dependent on oneself.

The differences a certain, unobserved or small-scale action can do is really beyond our mind. But regret is not something that we shall live on and let it manifest and fill us. In the doldrums are fine places to cohabit for a while but not for long.

A day where negative thoughts and feelings, memories and experiences persist for existence.

[开心] happiness

2005-09-16T19:37:00.000+08:00

what are the things that make you full with felicity?

emm... come to think of it, these objects can be living - non-living, animated - still, of different colours, of different species, of different moulds and mades. It can range from anything from outer space to that tiny little micro-organism that thrive on every single small area. (I mean, hey! there are people who are bound to like microbes right? Just not that i know of... eccentric like though)
But what i found out that this feeling of inner stability, that easily lit up a small smile, with the corners turning upwards can be evoked from anything under the sun. This emotion may not make you ecstatic but this feeling of equilibrium, of inherent and undisturbed peace has its own way of exerting its calming influence on you and also make you feel good.
Simple pleasures it may be called but the extent of how it empowers you is astounding.

Such feel good factors have been coming in forms of animals, children and the scenery such as the sky, trees and a whole stretch of grass field for me. The world's beauty is infinite albeit the fact that not many learnt to appreciate all of them.

feeling just alright.
nyleve =D

consistency and committment in value system

2005-08-24T15:21:00.000+08:00

emm... let's say, nyleve, a student, a self-proclaimed teacher's pet of her chemistry teacher was just going to her chemistry lessons as usual. Where, there was only one difference, she unknowingly forgot to finish up her corrections for her tutorials. Ya, and unsurprisingly, there were others who suffered the same fate as her. In the end, all of them got a well-deserved sermon as they were reprimanded by the teacher.

So, what can one say? Is being ignorant of a matter but yet committing the crime guiltly of it? They is a chinese saying that says that ignorant people who committed a wrongdoing had done nothing wrong, nothing against one's conscience. But from the humble me, who is just 1 person out of the 10000000000 mankind in the world, let me voice out my opinions. An ignorant person should be held responsible and liable to consequences as times too. Excuses should not be made to form a protective defence coat around oneself. If one is really that conscientous in his work, and really lived by their own code of value system and moral codes, the committment to these should last forever, bot just based on one incident. That is what i call the true shaping of a person with wisdom whom demands reverence.

Let the phase of guilt and the disappointment with oneself pass and learn from it. Acquire lessons from past experiences and not only absorb the lessons learnt but also put these beliefs into actions. I am not only to die with the same mentality, character, wisdom and knowledge as I had when I was borned. That will be totally asinine and a total waste of precious time. And think of all the wastage that was created to keep such an obsolete person alive when another person can be deemed more beneficial to the general population. Nevertheless, it is still the same old saying. Actions speak louder than words. Are you able to really resolved your beliefs into factual incidents? That will not only need the substance in one's character, the richness of the soul, the additional room in one's heart and the maturity in one's mind.

And with that, time shall show the fruits harvested on this never-ending quest till the day one ceases to live.

What a Wonderful World

2005-06-18T16:38:00.000+08:00

by Louis Armstrong

I see trees of green, red roses too
I watch 'em bloom..... for me and you
And I think to myself.... what a wonderful world.
I see skies of blue..... and clouds of white
Bright blessed days....and the dark say good night
And I think to myself .....what a wonderful world.
The colors of the rainbow.....so pretty ..in the sky
Are there on the faces.....of people ..going by
I see friends shaking hands.....sayin'.. how do you do
They're really sayin'......I love you.
I hear babies cry...... I watch them grow
They'll learn much more.....than I'll never know
And I think to myself .....what a wonderful world
The colors of a rainbow.....so pretty ..in the sky
Are there on the faces.....of people ..going by
I see friends shaking hands.....sayin'.. how do you do
They're really sayin'...(I ....LOVE....YOU).
I hear babies cry...... I watch them grow
(You know their gonna learn a whole lot more than I'll never know)
And I think to myself .....what a wonderful world
Yes I think to myself .......what a wonderful world.

to all the people, animals and living things who make my world wonderful...
in appreciation.

saxo-sexy

2005-06-18T16:15:00.000+08:00

I am now in the school symphonic band.
A vey interesting journey i have embarked on!
Never failing to amuse and fascinate me. And I am probably one of the most excited member.
My pet instrument is SIR saxophone. (decided to call it sir since I am the graceful lady)
muahaha... I just delibrately praise myself... Since I am that desperate to be complimented!~
And viola!!! The greatest achievement I have so far is to play the complete music piece of "When the Saints go marching in" How wonderful... What a wonderfully pathetic achievement... But still it is undeniably a great achievement!
wait wait ... I had to convince you that I am not an easily bemused idiot( ya... i know, that is most probably that impression you had of me now) firstly, I had no music background and i just yearn to learn a music instrument + i am kinda in l0ve with it. The whole spectrum of music created by the whole band is just overwhelmingly spectacular, it made my hairs stand in that 'touchy' way. yum yum!!!

I am still working on mastering music...
Awaiting for that day when I can play my SIR saxophone well... Be assured reader, that day is really coming near.

***
Call me Nyleve, call me Lady,
call me Lady Saxophonist

dog with a flat nose

2005-04-23T13:38:00.000+08:00

my auntie's pet dog! Name- Baby, Breed- Pekingnese
supposed to be my step-dog (ya i know it just sounds weird)
as my mum is this dog's stepmum. eh... you get it?

morality

2005-04-23T12:58:00.000+08:00

To be able to live up to your conscience, to claim that you have sound moral values isn't just based on one incident or two. A lifetime commitment is needed and may mine last.

It is the critical intangibles that make a lasting impression, brighten up your day or otherwise, and make u feel for the emotions.

Never always say u don't know when faced with a question or a challenge. In this way, you will only get nowhere. Nobody owe you an answer but only yourself. quote: "to ask a question, a stupid one may only make you seems like an idiot for 5 minutes, while not asking will only make you an imbecile for the rest of your life."

Happy Belated Earth Day (earth day is on 22th of april) to you...!

xxx
a homebody

silly quizes all maybe that is true??? (hell) who knows?

2005-03-15T20:44:00.000+08:00

Take the quiz at dicepool.com

why does my heart cry? - moulin rouge

2005-03-11T01:15:00.000+08:00

ewan:
his eyes upon your face
his hand on your hand
his lips caress your skin

It's more than I can stand

(Roxanne~)

Why does my heart cry ???
feelings I can't FIGHT ~ !!!

(... don't actually know the lyrics over here...)

BELIEVE me what i say I love you ..........

*** tango music in the background ....... (woohoo!)

glamourous, splendid, wonderful, magical, fantastic, state of euphoria, i am in utopia, floating, dreamy, simply beautiful, touching, emotions... rushing..., alluring, charmed, STRUCK, dunbfounded, in AWE
starry starry...
--- standing ovation---

applause...

Come what may ~ (monlin rouge)

2005-03-11T01:02:00.000+08:00

Ewan:
I never knew I could feel like this
like I've never seen the sky before
want to va-nish inside your kiss
as everyday i love you more and more
listen to my heart can you hear it sing?
telling me to give you my everything
season may change
winter to spring
but i love you until the end of time
come what may
come what may
i will love you until my dying day

Nicole:
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
suddenly the world moves with such a perfect pace
suddenly my life dosen't seem such a waste (Nicole + Ewan)
and it all revolves around you
and there is no mountain too high, no river too wide (n +e)
sing out this song and I'll be there by your side (n+e)
storm clouds may gather, stars may collide
But I will love you (will love you-nicole) till the end (until the end-n) of time (of time-n)

Together:
come what may
come what may
i will love you until my dying day...!
(come what may... come what may...)

***this song currently rocks my world... ^^^ :o)

LOTR frenzy~ :0) frodo frodo frodo...

2005-03-02T16:10:00.000+08:00

Mr. David Guillod, one of those friends, who had suggested Elijah to Gary Scalzo, recalls "Oh!, he was such a cutie! I think what struck us was the simple fact that (...) when he walked out on stage, the room was silent. Elijah had this stage presence, and he commanded the stage with his smile. He did it with a natural charm and charisma, and he won the hearts of the people. It was just a quality."

"I shall hold the ring but i know no way..." -Frodo Baggins

Hale to Peter Jackson

New Zealand is so damn beautiful man! I am so jealous of the actors and actresses for the experience they had on the production of these Lord of the Rings films!.... JEALOUS... GREEN WITH ENVY...what a memorable time they must had on these breath-taking sceneries, landscapes, and the enjoyment derived from being a part of this many award winning film, the fantasy trilogy of the century! wow... woohoo... And with all those talented, gorgeous actors and actresses, the sophiscated technical equipment they used, the magnificent props... Just like what Orlando Bloom stated," It is an experience of a lifetime... That others may not even have the chance to experince..." And Elijah Wood ,"In such a career, when the production of the film ends, friendship still stays, bonds between us are made but never broken as the times we had spent together still lingered..."

I adored Frodo Baggins but this don't actually apply to the same to Elijah Wood...
I admired Legolas, Arwen and Aragon too but still i am pretty much biased towards FRODO BAGGNS... :0)

If u have seen the movies u should have noticed the way Frodo likes to crinkle his eyebrows in desperation in "The Two Towers" and "The Return of the King" epics. -> ;O(

Frodo is such a beautiful hobbit with those curly brown hair, pinkish, blushing complexion, and those guiless, round, innocent eyes...

"When situations proved otherwise to what you will like it to be, learn to face up to it, act upon the situation to turn it the other way round" - Gandalf the Wizard

"You being the Ring-bearer, the ONE entrusted with the reponsibility, if you can't do it, no one can... U must be brave, you must..." - The Elf Queen

"You can never get rid of me... I shall be with you no matter where you go..." Legolas to Aragon as they set off towards the Valley of the Dead

After watching these films, i realise how kiddish Harry Potter as a fantasy novel is to The Lord of the Rings... I shall read The Lord of the Rings book one day...

Hale to J.R.R. Tolkien

2005-03-02T15:18:00.000+08:00

how come he is always in such a pained, tortured expression i still prefer the way frodo look when he is still in the fellowship of the rings. He looked much more happier, at peace and youthful then. Such a beautiful (let me repeat: beautiful) hobbit he was back then living in the paradise-like scenery of the Shire... (happy-go-lucky days of Frodo) in my opinion "The fellowship of the rings" is the best one out of the 3 movies... Hale Frodo!

2005-03-02T15:12:00.000+08:00

he is trying to be seductive is his attempt successful to you?

2005-03-02T15:11:00.000+08:00

compare it with this having hair is so much more pleasant...

2005-03-02T15:08:00.000+08:00

The bald elijah wood look...

2005-03-02T15:03:00.000+08:00

Woohoo Elijah Wood won the best actor award! how come it seems that few people adored him as Frodo more than Legolas and Aragon? Hey ... But i still like him more than them..

da new lunar new year

2005-02-25T01:00:00.000+08:00

cheers for new hopes for the new year!!!

***

1* must not screw up my life
-study hard but keep the interest there!
2* get fit and tone up all my fats (grow some muscles... grow grow grow)
3* save money
4* learn new stuff
-like some foreign and local languages
-music related such as how to play a violin!!!but it is going to cost a bomb man...
-practise how to write with both hands(ya that sound stupid but im still gonna do it!!!)
need to get both of my left and right brains working!!!
-be aware of current affairs
-learn general knowledge
-how to dance salsa... (someday... haha i need some spices in my life... but im just a complete
klutz!!! but im way way determined!!! :0)
-to roller-blade and ice-skate ( but it will hurts like hell when i fall... poor butt)
5* be a real good, caring, supportive friend to all my pals
6* get involved with life!!! do some volunteer work...
7* gotta recycle, reduce and reuse
8* go and watch the latest most interesting movies!!! woohoo!!!...
9* manage my time well
10* be more decisive when i make decisions
11* be more zong ming
12* be more alert to what is happening around me, more attentive to life itself
13* to be more wiser and knowledgeable
14* sleep early
15* be a devoted listener when people are talking

i knew i luv u before i met u

2005-02-25T00:48:00.000+08:00

i know that it might sound more than a little crazy but i believe.........

i knew i luv u before i met u
i have been dreaming you alive
i knew i luv u before i met u
i have been waiting all my life

woo...hoo...hoo....

(a thousand angels dancing around u....)

luv at first sight or just infatuation, just by the mere first impression on the opposite sex's looks?
is it really possible 2 luv someone before u meet them???...
do luv just hurts in the end? after marriage do luv exists or it is just familiarity and commitment to each other that hold on to the engagement?
but as the quotes go... it is better to love, have a wonderful relationship and memories to hold on for life rather than just stay lonely, and dwell on the past just too afraid to be hurt to be disappointed...

...waiting for that someone to enter my life...
:o)

careless whisper... -george michael

2005-02-25T00:38:00.000+08:00

i am never gonna dance again
guilty feet have got no rhythm
though easy to pretend
i know you are not a fool

i should have better know than to cheat a friend
waste the chance that i've been given
so im never gonna dance again
the way i dance with you you....

***saxophone music in the background***

enlightenment

2005-02-23T16:41:00.000+08:00

give me knowledge and wisdom and i shall be enlighten...

shall thou give thy knowledge and wisdom, thy shall then be enlighten...

knowledge accounts for a part of wisdom but being knowledgeable does not mean you are wise...

but on the other hand, can wisdom be given?
or do you just have to learn it by yourself, experience it, feel for it, matures with it, grows with it? ya most probably that is what we should do then...

...the wise old man on the mountain...
***what comes into my mind will be this old man with long white beard and also a pair of white bushy eyebrows,with a face and expression that exudes a hearty, peaceful glow, meditating, sitting cross-legged on a mountain. Magnolia white, big, fluffy clouds will be floating around as blooming flowers, rolling hills and lush green plains will also enter the picturesque scenery. what calmness will he feel. how settled his heart will beat, throbbing peacefully away... but will he ever be bored? lonely? sitting down there all alone???***

...wishing to be a wise little teenager...
:0) maybe i shall be one wise old woman one day

I need a new life order...

2005-02-11T16:38:00.000+08:00

today is the day after chinese new year n guessed what i skipped school...! oh my oh my... im not supposed to do that n i knew it myself but hey i had already done it... okok im going to read up on notes, finish all my already piling homework, read a storybook( this is really not a chore for me but a pleasure! provided that i get the bk i like! but so far i dosen't seem 2 b v lucky) i was feelin so damn uneasy n guilty when i woke up today while my fellow classmates r at sch. i m so known as a gd girl ;) feel so much better after vacuuming the house. At least i did sumtin productive! really ! u gotta try. at least for mi vacuuming and tidying up is therapeutic for my soul... okok i gotta go... im working later! hope that everything will go smoothly for mi!!! i shall need to stop being so tense n use my critical thinking skills!!!

signing off...

worky VS schooey

2005-01-28T17:34:00.000+08:00

now i shall declare that i have successfully juggled WORK n SCH for the past few weeks...
even though, i had succumb to sickness n ill health...! Feel kind of sory n pathetic for myself, having 2 suffer like tat... Once i had such a throbbing headache tat i felt like fainting but when i started workin, there's no way i can't just go to the sick bay n rest just like in school years! I still had to continue my work till my shift ends.!That is da difference... In work we r given more responsibility, expected to perform well(or be prepared to b scolded / nagged at) n do the supposedly right things (accordin to my superiors) at the right time which have a high tndancy of differin in my sense of the supposedly right things i should do!!! I have a couple of experiences i had been scolded for things i did not do, but i just continue to take it with a pinch of salt, n just 2 clear my ear tunnel to make sure it goes in n comes out straight... I was rather disappointed with myself, as i had expected myself 2 do my job well but usually i just had a slip of mind of what i m supposed to do therefore i had come up with 3 golden rules i had to follow durin the times i work:

be aware of what is going on around me
be serious, no fooling around with my frens (u c tis i really can't help at sum times cuz we oni c each other durin workin days cuz we were posted to different schools!
be ZONG MING( a chinese word), open my eyes n ears n use my brain

* also stay calm, dun forget things, be composed n alert!

i have kind of liked workin days cuz we had alot of fun as we all knew each other pretty well, but however, i still need 2 b aware of people's different mood, n of cuz not 2 step on an angry cat's tail! The rationale for this whole issue is that i m suppose 2 b a student whose job is 2 study... My mama kept droning on that i should no work that hard as im not gonna b the breadwinner of the family, right? So why all the suffering (n complaing from me), ill-treating my own health for? Truth 2 say that workin experience do count 2 b sumtin useful which will cum in2 handy in the future bt if this carry on, i will bring me no other benefits in the future! So i had already decided to quit soon n concentrate on my studies, while at the end of this year, the 1 month long plus holiday, i can even go back to work n visit my old pals there...

signing off ;)

>>>

Thee Schooey term...

2005-01-28T17:04:00.000+08:00

I have lived through the first month of school which I was posted to for my pre-tertiary education. My frens n i was posted 2 diff schs n frankly, i missed them. But life still goes on right? In this new school i made some friends n many acquaintances while even though our sense of humour, our interests, our family background, our use of language differ, I am gradually getting used to them n the teachers whom many i found were quite interesting n weird. I am now familiar n attached to the school cuz at least im adapting to the way of life over there n the environment will never adapt accordin 2 my needs, right? So for my own sake, i had to do the other way round! As simple as that! ya right is oni tins do sound tat simple... I have grew more independent n no more "hey i want to go toilet, accompany me styff" now. I had not grown lonely, that's not the correct word 2 use but instead, im just satisfied to b in my own world sometimes in school... okok, im startin 2 sound like a loner but i do have frens which we sumtimes do stick together, but we r still not that good as compared 2 my secondary sch fren which we had spent 4 yrs together! Therefore sometimes i found those new fens which i just made were so fake n superficial... However it is no solution for mi to keep findin grudge in my life, ya? So i m 2 remain cheerful n optimistic n still b open 2 every1 n also 2 hav gd public relations skills. But i will not force myself in2 doin stuff i dun 1 2. wow n the school hours now r so damm long...! 'hurray!' I just reached home at about 3.40pm n at 7.30pm i got a camp till tomorrow 9pm!!! woo>>> long day man, n im workin on sunday! however i still liked a busy life rather than a boring one, but still muz have sum free time 4 mi 2 laze around too la...

xxx signing off,
nyleve>>>

wat is the world cumin 2 b?

2004-12-08T23:52:00.000+08:00

kids r now scolding uncouth languages while mums r helping them dye their hair n pierce one ear for boys to suit fashion changes. People may get richer n pop/fashion cultures mey alter within a blink of eye. All these r influencin lives of people everywhere as teenagers want to be cool n girls wants to b like beatiful stars. What a scary world it will become as this carries on... The innocent beauty of children r ruin as people betray their natural identity to copy n be like "cool n popular people". We homosapiens need variety to survive as in biology, gene diversity is essential for survival. There is no use for people that all look, speak, act n behave in the same, oh-so-typical way. I maybe a nerd as i do not follow to "cool n 'in' trends" but i m 1 proud nerd. Proud 2 b just ME.

that is life for me

the epoch, start of my new beginning

the epoch, start of my new beginning

recomendations

recomendations

Time

Honouring Steve Irwin

bluh

OUTING!!!

aftermath of blogs surfing

emlala

Reflection on my Cambodia trip

Ranting on..>

sneezing caught in the act *O*

Cassidy, sassy little toddler *muacks

infatuation(s)

The difference between dreams and goals

ani-mania

equailty between humans- on gays

gloom

[开心] happiness

consistency and committment in value system

What a Wonderful World

saxo-sexy

dog with a flat nose

morality

silly quizes all maybe that is true??? (hell) who knows?

why does my heart cry? - moulin rouge

Come what may ~ (monlin rouge)

LOTR frenzy~ :0) frodo frodo frodo...

da new lunar new year

i knew i luv u before i met u

careless whisper... -george michael

enlightenment

I need a new life order...

worky VS schooey

Thee Schooey term...

wat is the world cumin 2 b?

sneezing caught in the act O